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When life is asking you to fully step into trust


After I left Instagram I felt relieved, but I also asked myself: “What now?” Where to go from here? How would this choice influence my life?

How would A New World open up to me?

Peaceful and Private

Most of the people who found their way to my website, poetry book and card deck did that through my Instagram Account. How will I share my creativity and inspiration now? And even more important; would people still be able to find me?

I felt a little guilty too. Had I been selfish?

I mean, perhaps for me it is better to live a peaceful and private life, but I also believe we all came here for a purpose. And my purpose is to support souls on their soul journey through the gift of intuitive writing.

But how can I do that when I shut down?

On the other hand, I truly believe that the ‘system’ of Instagram – although many are on that platform to spread their good intentions, insights, art and creativity – is not in service of the people.

There are many studies on the negative effects of social media, like FOMO (Fear On Missing Out), irrregular sleep, eye strain, isolation from family, symptoms of anxiety and depression and more.

All of this comes down to the reason I am wondering if there can be another way to find and support each other. A more healthier and fair way. One that benefits all parties.


Dream Life

As a guideline for the choices I make, I do not only start from my dream life, but also think about how I would like to see life for my children. Neither is Instagram, or social media as a whole, a part of it.

So I feel I have to stay strong and commit to my decision and in my belief that my dream life is possible, without the use of social media. Or let it put another way, maybe my use of Instagram was even in the way of stepping into this ‘new world’.

It is said that people spend about two and a half hour on social media per day. Can you imagine what other things you can do in that time?!

I sure can!

One of my dreams (goals) is to publish my novel Lost & Found.  The time I no longer spend on Instagram, I can use to edit my manuscript. I believe deeply that my novel will be of great service to people that are unsatisfied about their life and /or job. I also believe that it is my ‘duty’ to write the story and birth it into reality.

It is a calling and the Universe is waiting for me to act on it. This is ‘Deep Work’.

But the Universe won’t wait forever!

This makes me think about something Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in her book ‘Big Magic’.

As Gilbert’s story goes, the idea for a novel set in the Amazon jungle came to her.
It occupied her, it inflamed her, it energized her…and then it didn’t. She set aside her inspiration, and so it left her, like a lover too long taken for granted. It migrated to the mind of her friend and fellow writer, Ann Patchett, where it grew into that author’s bestselling novel: State of Wonder.

If we don’t engage with our creative ideas they’ll go looking for other willing collaborators. I certainly don’t want that to happen with my story Lost & Found!


Intuitive Writing

My way to fully connect with myself and my dreamlife is through intuitive writing.

It is a beautiful and mindful tool, especially when you love journaling and writing, to get out of your mind and into your body. By doing so you can feel inside yourself what wants to be heard.

Through Intuitive Writing you hear Your Soul speak.

Somehow, the Sunday mornings work perfect for me; when the family is still asleep and nature is slowly waking up.

This first Sunday, after I choose to leave Instagram, I sat down at the breakfast table early in the morning.

Through the garden doors I felt the sun coming in gently and heard the birds singing their morning song. I listened to nature, to the silence, to my inner voice, and I wrote:


My eyes are still

a bit closed


I slept





I am waking



To this New World


I have



These words reassured me. I had chosen a New World indeed and it is ok to not know what this will bring me, or how the journey will continue. I have to be patient, take good care of myself, and keep following my gut feeling.


Card Deck Between Worlds

Later that day, I decided to draw a card from my Card Deck Between Worlds. Pretty soon a card fell out. It was the card with the white flower.



This touched my soul so deeply as I ended my previous blog – Why I Left Instagram –  with the picture of a white rose and a quote about freedom.

This all is no coincidence, all pieces of the puzzle keep falling into place. I’ll try to explain in short:

In my novel Lost & Found roses play an important role. What is the meaning of a red rose and a white rose? And how does a red rose turn into a white one? It goes too far to explain here – you will have to read my novel if you want to learn more about it – but is has something to do with myths, archetypes, mystical symbols and so on.


The white rose, air, breath, freedom… it is all connected.

Did you know that ‘the white rose’ was a German resistance group during World War II? The group stood for nonviolent resistance to the Nazi regime.

In my novel WW II also plays a part. The grandfather of Lieze (main character) was an American who helped to free the Netherlands in the war. Lieze wasn’t aware of the impact of this in her life.

During her solo hike journey through the woods of Germany parts of her past come back to life and into her consciousness. But as with everything, it takes time to mature and express itself…

The truth is that we all carry the stories of our ancestors in our blood, it is part of our DNA. We are here to ‘explore’ our stories and ‘create’ new ones.

This is what we call ‘transcending’; entering a very present-minded space.

The New World.

This is how life works when you fully step into trust. Things start to come together and we find the track as much as the track finds us.

Poem ‘Breathe’

After I had drawn the card I looked up the poem in my Poetry Book Between Worlds.

Here is a part of the poem that goes with the card from my poetry collection:


“I am


A flower of wisdom

Firm and elegant


I am Life


I shine

I bend


Always doing the best I can.”

To see the connections you also have to go back to yourself first; realign with your nature.

I did this by leaving Instagram. This choice gave me instant peace. A state of mind where you are in tune with the force of life and can breathe and experience creation again.

Something I described in my novel as well, the moment Lieze steps outside the lodge, a place where she had stayed for a while, she can breathe again and feels totally free and alive.

This is a metaphor of course for the state of being that arises when you step out of the old story so a new story can unfold.


” … to this new world I have chosen …”


The circle is complete.  Time for the next level.



Bianca ~Be Budding