Come Back To Your Self

How to transform dark into light

 

I have been rereading my last three blogposts in the category Soul & Purpose:

Why I Left Instagram

A New World Opens Up

Peace In A Dual World

The sharp-eyed reader will have noticed that – since sharing that last blogpost – on May 25, 2022 – I have returned to Instagram.

‘What’s that all about?’, you might think. Well, I will elaborate on that in this new blogpost.

Welcome to my blog about patterns, shadow work and transformation!

School for the Soul

I consider my life as a school for the Soul. After leaving social media for a couple of weeks, and reflecting on this decision through intuitive writing, I can now discern a pattern that has been part of my journey for probably some lifetimes.

It is the hiding pattern.

I share this with you because I believe we live in a time of transition and it is more important then ever to do ‘shadow work’. Shadow work is recognizing and understanding the dark side of our personality. It was coined by Carl Jung and is essential to leading a fulfilling life.

Shadow work

As long as we keep hiding in the shadow, unwilling to face our fears and demons, we ignore them and with that we deny our true Self.

By opening up and sharing about my insights and experiences I help myself – by getting out of my comfort zone and challenging my pattern – and also help others to recognize this pattern in their own life.

Doing shadow work makes the unseen seen. This karmic work helps you to check in with where you are on your soul’s journey, which gives you the opportunity to learn and grow.

The End of Karma

I learned about the pattern of hiding by writing my semi-biographical fairytale for adults, called Lost & Found. A story that entered my consciousness by connecting with my sacred space and journaling about my soul’s experiences.

Lost & Found is a story about a 40-year-old woman who is lost in the wilderness of the modern world and decides to go on a solo adventure to reconnect with her true nature.

By writing the novel Lost & Found the hiding pattern came to Light.

Patterns are called patterns because they repeat. We all have them, experiences which recur in our lives, ways in which we seem to cycle back into the old no matter how hard we try to change.

transformation

The forces which drive these experiences operate at an unconscious level. We are unwittingly addicted to our own struggle, and it must be made conscious for us to align with all that we have come here in this lifetime to be.

It is not said that if you do shadow work that your karma will be resolved immediately. It does give you insight in your own behaviour and with that the opportunity to heal parts (patterns) of your karmic story.

Cycle of Incarnation

I believe we are souls having a human experience, therefore I believe we have already lived several lifetimes. These lifetimes – cycles – offer us the chance to grow into our beauty and strength, like a fine wine that develops itself over the years.

Life gives you the opportunity to grow into your Self.

Life lessons aren’t about getting it right, but they’re about experiencing and learning by doing. By acknowledging the pattern I now will be able to look at it from a more objective point of view, instead of identifying myself with the pattern.

By doing this kind of inner work you can step into the place of the observer. You kind of become the director of your own life instead of an actor in a movie.

You get a clear picture.

What I mean to say that is it not ‘wrong’ to go through some experiences, it is even necessary to have them. See them as opportunities for soul growth. There will come a time where you have had enough of ‘playing’ the patterns.

higher perspective

Suddenly, you see the situation from a higher perspective.

A Game Free Life

I had this kind of experience when I learned about the Drama Triangle by Stephen Karpman; a social model of human interaction.

According to this model distinctive patterns of the ‘Game’ are:

  • Victim – denies own responsibility, asks for help, support, attention
  • Persecutor – steps into the position of the one who knows for the other
  • Rescuer – blames the other for not doing things right or for being the cause of things

Haven’t we seen these roles fully played out in the whole Covid situation?

This situation has really been challenging and has had a great effect on our perspective of the world. It affected relationships on all levels; friendships, family, collegaeus and so on. Let alone the relationship with ourselves.

The last two years evoked a lot of fear in our world.

All got tested.

After reading my blogs, acknowledging the hiding pattern and feeling into the fear I recognized that my decision to leave Instagram probably was not a decision made from a place of light, but from a place of darkness.

There never are winners when we act from a place of fear.

This is no judgement. We never play only one role, we can switch between roles. The question is: ‘How can we step out of this game and these roles?’. Clearly, by getting into the ‘neutral’ position.

Observer

We have to become the observer instead of a player of the Game.

Transformation; the AHA-moment

Life wouldn’t be life without all these kind of experiences. What is important is how we go from here. Throug the process of connecting with myself – through reading, writing, reflecting – I learned how dark this period actually had been and its effect on me.

It made me realize that I labeled Instagram as ‘bad’, when in fact everything in life is neutral. It is just what we make of it. It also showed me that being in this state of ‘fear’ pushed me back into the hiding-pattern. I decided to leave Instagram and that made me less visible.

It all fit my karmic pattern and story perfectly.

But I am not born into this lifetime to hide myself. I am born into this lifetime to grow and explode the bottle. My wine has deepened through lifetimes and experiences. Now is the time to embrace my talents and gifts, step out of old patterns, and share the fullness of my Self.

Turn into your Self

We came into this life with a clear soul plan. The talent that has been given to us also has meaning to other people. It is time that we stop waiting and start walking the path that we have been training for over lifetimes.

Your talent is a Gift to the World.

It is what makes you light up and come alive. It is the part of you that longs to be seen and is ready to emerge. Of course no coincidence that I pulled card nr 31. from my card deck today:

Heart-consciousness

I will still have more life lessons to go through, but I’ll do my very best to not go in hiding anymore. To stand for who I am, a loving talented and creative soul, just like you.

To end this blog I would like to share this stanze of poem nr. 31 ‘It is time’ from my
poetry book Between Worlds:

 

To be who you really are

Let nothing and nobody hold you down

The Only way is Up

Let’s work on that from now.

 

It is time to get out of our cocoon, spread our wings, and fly.
Hope to see you at my next blog or on my IG-account beautiful butterfly.

Love,

Bianca ~Be Budding

 

 

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